Hey Ted, This is Mitt. You Got a Minute.
"Ted Nugent endorsed my dad today. Ted Nugent, how cool is that?" Why that's just cool as hell Tagg.(did the Romneys use the same book as the Palins to name their kids?) When your father's running for President you sure can't get enough draft dodging pedophiles to jump on the bandwagon.
Look, I understand when your running for President you can't stop draft dodging pedophiles from endorsing your Presidency, it comes with the territory. What's that, Mitt called Ted seeking his endorsement? Oh, well that's awkward.
On March 3rd Mitt called Ted seeking an endorsement and and Ted obliged, with stipulations. Yep, the draft dodging pedophile even made demands of Romney before he would give his endorsement.
Before endorsing him, Nugent demanded that Romney pledge there would be no new gun laws or restrictions on Second Amendment rights in his administration. Romney obliged. Nugent also warned Romney about the "out of control" U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.
You see Ted loves his guns. Ted loves shooting stuff. But Ted don't really like shooting at anything that might shoot back. As a matter of fact he hates it so much he shit his pants when he got his draft papers. No seriously, he shit his pants. Literally.
"So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin’ it to it. I had a career Jack." Ted didn't want to go defend his country not because he was furthering his education or was against killing another person for religious reasons. His reason for not going, " I was a hard workin’, motherf*ckin’ rock and roll musician."
Poor Ted. They don't have deferments for rock and roll musicians, he wasn't going to school, he surely wasn't the religious type and he had no medical anomolies. Whats a man to do besides shit his pants.
"I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up."
What a piece of work.
"See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin’ awake. I was close to death, but I was in control."
Nobody who got drafted during Vietnam really wanted to go but many felt a sense of duty. Not everyone drafted were MFing rock and roll musicians but they had jobs, parents and girlfriends who loved them.
"They took a putty knife to me. I got the street rats out of my hair, ate some good steaks, beans, potatoes, cottage cheese, milk. A couple of days and I was ready to kick ass. And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F. They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass. But you know the funny thing about it? I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherf*ckin’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know?"
No, Ted wasn't into it, it wasn't his bag, it wasn't his scene. Ted just wanted to do his own thing, Ya know. Ted was too busy with his rock and roll and underage girls, or as he laughingly called it, "alternative flesh management".
Some of his escapades cannot be substantiated but there are a few that are well documented. There was an admission by Courtney Love that she preformed a sex act with Ted at the age of 12 (I know, its Courtney Love and it should be taken with a grain of salt but you have to ask what she was she to gain with the admission). There was his "muse" Pele Massa who he started dating at 17 while he was still married. A Spin magazine article tells how "Bring Em Young" Nugent convinced a 17 year old girls parents to make him her legal guardian and on VH1s' 1998 Behind The Music, Nugent admitted his fondness for young girls.
There's Ted in a nutshell. Nevermind all the theatrical " suck on this Obama" or "Hillary is a c**t" crap. When a man who wants to be the President of this country feels he needs to personally call this piece of trash for an endorsement it really says a lot about the man.
* All quotes taken verbatim from the High Times magazine interview of Ted Nugent in 1977.
Look, I understand when your running for President you can't stop draft dodging pedophiles from endorsing your Presidency, it comes with the territory. What's that, Mitt called Ted seeking his endorsement? Oh, well that's awkward.
On March 3rd Mitt called Ted seeking an endorsement and and Ted obliged, with stipulations. Yep, the draft dodging pedophile even made demands of Romney before he would give his endorsement.
Before endorsing him, Nugent demanded that Romney pledge there would be no new gun laws or restrictions on Second Amendment rights in his administration. Romney obliged. Nugent also warned Romney about the "out of control" U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.
You see Ted loves his guns. Ted loves shooting stuff. But Ted don't really like shooting at anything that might shoot back. As a matter of fact he hates it so much he shit his pants when he got his draft papers. No seriously, he shit his pants. Literally.
"So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin’ it to it. I had a career Jack." Ted didn't want to go defend his country not because he was furthering his education or was against killing another person for religious reasons. His reason for not going, " I was a hard workin’, motherf*ckin’ rock and roll musician."
Poor Ted. They don't have deferments for rock and roll musicians, he wasn't going to school, he surely wasn't the religious type and he had no medical anomolies. Whats a man to do besides shit his pants.
"I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up."
What a piece of work.
"See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin’ awake. I was close to death, but I was in control."
Nobody who got drafted during Vietnam really wanted to go but many felt a sense of duty. Not everyone drafted were MFing rock and roll musicians but they had jobs, parents and girlfriends who loved them.
"They took a putty knife to me. I got the street rats out of my hair, ate some good steaks, beans, potatoes, cottage cheese, milk. A couple of days and I was ready to kick ass. And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F. They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass. But you know the funny thing about it? I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherf*ckin’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know?"
No, Ted wasn't into it, it wasn't his bag, it wasn't his scene. Ted just wanted to do his own thing, Ya know. Ted was too busy with his rock and roll and underage girls, or as he laughingly called it, "alternative flesh management".
Some of his escapades cannot be substantiated but there are a few that are well documented. There was an admission by Courtney Love that she preformed a sex act with Ted at the age of 12 (I know, its Courtney Love and it should be taken with a grain of salt but you have to ask what she was she to gain with the admission). There was his "muse" Pele Massa who he started dating at 17 while he was still married. A Spin magazine article tells how "Bring Em Young" Nugent convinced a 17 year old girls parents to make him her legal guardian and on VH1s' 1998 Behind The Music, Nugent admitted his fondness for young girls.
There's Ted in a nutshell. Nevermind all the theatrical " suck on this Obama" or "Hillary is a c**t" crap. When a man who wants to be the President of this country feels he needs to personally call this piece of trash for an endorsement it really says a lot about the man.
* All quotes taken verbatim from the High Times magazine interview of Ted Nugent in 1977.
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