A Day of Support For Chik-fil-a (and Biblical Marriage)

   Today is the day all good Christians will go to Chick-fil- a and show their support to Dan Cathy and his stance on Biblical marriage.
   "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage,' and I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to try to redefine what marriage is about." Right on Dan, WTG.
    To be quite honest I don't believe I've ever eaten at a Chik-fil-a. There's no particular reason other than the fact I have no idea where ones at. Hell, I'd probably like their food too, they put a damned pickle on that chicken sandwich, how crazy is that.
    While I don't consider myself a Christian, (just a nice guy who won't allow hate in my heart) I would like to show my support for Dan and his beliefs, and since I've already stated I have no idea where there's a Chik-fil-a I decided to act on the Biblical teachings of marriage today. (Its gonna be a busy day)
     First stop, Whitehall. I'm going over there find another wife. (you're allowed to have more than one wife by the way, as long as you have them all at once, divorces aren't allowed) The Bible says its perfectly within my right to gather an army, go to the next village and kill all the men and all the women who have laid with a man. After I've accomplished that then I can choose from the all the virgins who I want to marry and if I want more than one virgin, that's fine too. Uh-oh, my day hasn't even started and already I'm starting to rethink my plans, we're talking Whitehall here, there's a decent chance there won't be any virgins left. Oh well, there's others ways to find a another wife.
    Lets see. I could go rape a virgin and then pay her father 50 shekels to take her as my wife, but where in the hell am I gonna come up with 50 shekels? And what in the hell is a shekel anyway? And what if we don't end up hitting it off? Am I gonna have to become a serial rapist just to find the perfect wife? Sounds to much like work to me.
    Keep digging Ed.
     Its too bad I don't have a brother. If I did I could kill him and his wife would have to become my wife. That sounds like the easiest way to find a new wife but then again if you find out your wife is not a virgin on the night of your marriage then she must be put to death.
    Man, this support of the Biblical teachings of marriage is turning into more hassle than I want to deal with. It'd be a lot easier to just google Chik-fil-a and go buy one of those damned sandwiches. But, a pickle on a chicken sandwich? Pickles belong on Sliders and Whoppers, nuf said.

    While some will find this post blasphemous, keep in mind, its no more blasphemous than the hypocrisy being spewed by others. Last time I read the Bible I remember reading something about "love thy neighbor as thyself." (Leviticus 19:18, if your so inclined) But nothing about hating thy neighbor for who they love. Funny that.

    And while I'm at it, could someone please explain to me how Adam and Eve ended up with grandchildren?
    Oh, really! EeeeeWwww!

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