My Sit Down With Mitt (Part 1: Taxes)

    Ed Rice: I want to thank you for taking the time to sit down with me and taking a few questions.
    Mitt Romney: No problemo Ed, but lets make it quick. Time is money.
    ER: A lot of people have been asking that you release more tax returns including some 20 prominent Republicans, will we be seeing anymore returns in the near future?
    MR: I'm glad you asked that Ed because I plan on releasing another year of returns sometime in the near future, possibly as early as October, as soon as they're prepared.
    ER: So your taxes aren't done yet?
    MR: Oh, they're done, they just need to be prepared to be released.
    ER: It seems to be taking quite a while. Who's preparing them, a group of 8 year olds? I'm sorry Mitt, that was uncalled for and I'll try not to let it happen again.
    MR: Humph.
    ER: Harry Reid has come out and said you won't release them because in actuality you didn't pay taxes for a few years, would you like to respond to that?
    MR: As I've stated before Ed, I have paid every red cent of taxes that I couldn't find a loophole for or hide in an off-shore account. It would be pretty unAmerican of me to not take advantage of every opportunity to pay as little in taxes as possible. And also, I'd like to add that if it weren't for rich people like me the banks in the Bahamas and Cayman Islands wouldn't be able to survive and we can't have that.
    ER: There are some people out there who say the term "tax loophole" shouldn't even be in our vocabulary.
    MR: Well that's just silly. Do you realize that if weren't for the tax loopholes available to me that my fortune would only be worth $248 million instead of $250 million, and that elevator for my cars wasn't cheap my friend. Besides I'm sure you poorer types take advantage of a few tax loopholes yourself.
    ER: My bad Mitt, you're right. I do get to write off $200. worth of charitable contributions that I don't have reciepts for, lucky me.
    MR: We can do that?
    ER: Has anybody ever seen your tax returns Mitt?
    MR: Yeah, I had to show them to McCain in 2008 when I was being vetted for the VP position. So yeah, he knows what's in there.
    ER: And he ended up picking Sarah Palin.
    MR: Yeah, go figure.
    ER: Thank you Mitt, as usual you've said alot without saying anything.

                                             *UPDATE*

This morning on the talking head shows, Tim Pawlenty stated that he was required to hand over "several" years of tax returns in his vetting process. When pressed for an amount he stuck with "several".
When asked on another program, Beth Myers, the woman who ran the VP vetting process, also said that all VP candidates turned in "several" years of tax returns.
Choose a number for "several" but in the end its quite obvious Mitt thinks he deserves more than the American people deserve.

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