(D) Vs. (R) in the Celebrity World (Part 1)
After Clint Eastwoods bizarre appearance at the RNC I thought I'd take a look at which celebrities are affiliated to which parties and from there it had to turn into a contest. Which political party has the best celebrity backers?
Noting the seriousness of this contest, all information on the celebrities came from the internet (b/c if its on the internet it has to true) and rumors. All celebrities were compiled from lists supplied by the well respected internet site http://www.buzzfeed.com/ (the undisputed #1 site for cute animal videos) and the individual lists can be found here http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/40-celebrities-who-are-republicans and here http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/40-celebrities-who-are-democrats. I have not adjusted or tampered with the lists, actually I haven't even looked past the first two celebtities to see who will be facing off.
First up: Michael J. Fox (D) Vs. Drew Carey (R)
An easy one. They're about even in popularity and success but MJ's been married to the same woman for 24 years with 4 kids. Drew's never been married and is known for investing a lot of his money in high-end call girls. He has a child out of wedlock with one of the girls on The Price is Right and has been arrested for cocaine possession. Oh, and those glasses he wears, they're just that, plain old clear glass. MJ Fox, the clear winner here. This is gonna be fun.
Demi Moore (D) Vs. Don King (R)
Wow, what a weird pairing. A couple years ago this would be an easy one but Demi has been kinda going down hill lately and the break-up with Ashton hasn't helped much. The trip to the hospital for sucking on the whippets had to be a real low point. But Don's got some issues too. Sure he is a self made man, he started from nothing and built a boxing empire, but there's still those two murders. He shot a man in the back (this one was found to be justified) and stomped a man to death (convicted of manslaughter). Even though she may be going off the deep end, I have to go with Demi in this one, if for no other reason than the fact that Don may not be allowed to vote in some states.
The Dixie Chicks (D) Vs. Adam Sandler (R)
A tough one at first but then it hit me. The Dixie Chicks win here because it actually takes talent to play a fiddle. I know many people who could make a good living at acting stupid if that's what they wanted to do.
Eminem (D) Vs. Ben Stein (R)
What a good draw for Eminem, Ben's about the only one he could beat. Eminem has had his ups and downs but at the moment he's up again. Ben? If it weren't for Matthew Broderick, Jimmy Kimmel or Visine no one would of ever heard of him. Eminem wins.
Faith Hill (D) Vs. Bo Derek (R)
A shocker here. I would think these party affiliations would be the other way around. Oh well, Faith Hill wins. She's still hot, Bo Derek's not.
Jennifer Anniston (D) Vs. Dean Cain (R)
Poor Dean, the luck of the draw was not kind to him. Superman or not, we're talking Jen here.
Gwyneth Paltrow (D) Vs. Gloria Estefan (R)
Excellent match-up. The Republicans finally hit the board! And in a big way. Gloria actually started out with less than nothing as her parents were Cuban refugees. She's been married to Emilio for 34 years and now owns 7 restaurants, 3 hotels and a little bit of the Miami Dolphins. Gwyneth was born into Hollywood royalty and is better known today as that groupie who dances funny at the Coldplay concerts.
Hugh Hefner (D) Vs. Heather Locklear (R)
Another weird one but not really close. Hugh is 86 years old and still living the life many would like to live. Heather? Her troubles with the Pharmies has her showing up on some of the "dead pool" lists.
Hulk Hogan (D) Vs. Rick (y) Schroder (R)
Who cares. Seriously, we'll give this one to Ricky even though he changes his name and religion on a whim, he is a good family man. Hulk is a fake wrestler, nuf said.
Jerry Springer (D) Vs. James Earl Jones (R)
No contest. "Say it for us James, say it for us". "This Is CNN". It still amazes me that Jerry Springer was once the Mayor of Cincinnati. Two in a row for the (R)s.
Noting the seriousness of this contest, all information on the celebrities came from the internet (b/c if its on the internet it has to true) and rumors. All celebrities were compiled from lists supplied by the well respected internet site http://www.buzzfeed.com/ (the undisputed #1 site for cute animal videos) and the individual lists can be found here http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/40-celebrities-who-are-republicans and here http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/40-celebrities-who-are-democrats. I have not adjusted or tampered with the lists, actually I haven't even looked past the first two celebtities to see who will be facing off.
First up: Michael J. Fox (D) Vs. Drew Carey (R)
An easy one. They're about even in popularity and success but MJ's been married to the same woman for 24 years with 4 kids. Drew's never been married and is known for investing a lot of his money in high-end call girls. He has a child out of wedlock with one of the girls on The Price is Right and has been arrested for cocaine possession. Oh, and those glasses he wears, they're just that, plain old clear glass. MJ Fox, the clear winner here. This is gonna be fun.
Demi Moore (D) Vs. Don King (R)
Wow, what a weird pairing. A couple years ago this would be an easy one but Demi has been kinda going down hill lately and the break-up with Ashton hasn't helped much. The trip to the hospital for sucking on the whippets had to be a real low point. But Don's got some issues too. Sure he is a self made man, he started from nothing and built a boxing empire, but there's still those two murders. He shot a man in the back (this one was found to be justified) and stomped a man to death (convicted of manslaughter). Even though she may be going off the deep end, I have to go with Demi in this one, if for no other reason than the fact that Don may not be allowed to vote in some states.
The Dixie Chicks (D) Vs. Adam Sandler (R)
A tough one at first but then it hit me. The Dixie Chicks win here because it actually takes talent to play a fiddle. I know many people who could make a good living at acting stupid if that's what they wanted to do.
Eminem (D) Vs. Ben Stein (R)
What a good draw for Eminem, Ben's about the only one he could beat. Eminem has had his ups and downs but at the moment he's up again. Ben? If it weren't for Matthew Broderick, Jimmy Kimmel or Visine no one would of ever heard of him. Eminem wins.
Faith Hill (D) Vs. Bo Derek (R)
A shocker here. I would think these party affiliations would be the other way around. Oh well, Faith Hill wins. She's still hot, Bo Derek's not.
Jennifer Anniston (D) Vs. Dean Cain (R)
Poor Dean, the luck of the draw was not kind to him. Superman or not, we're talking Jen here.
Gwyneth Paltrow (D) Vs. Gloria Estefan (R)
Excellent match-up. The Republicans finally hit the board! And in a big way. Gloria actually started out with less than nothing as her parents were Cuban refugees. She's been married to Emilio for 34 years and now owns 7 restaurants, 3 hotels and a little bit of the Miami Dolphins. Gwyneth was born into Hollywood royalty and is better known today as that groupie who dances funny at the Coldplay concerts.
Hugh Hefner (D) Vs. Heather Locklear (R)
Another weird one but not really close. Hugh is 86 years old and still living the life many would like to live. Heather? Her troubles with the Pharmies has her showing up on some of the "dead pool" lists.
Hulk Hogan (D) Vs. Rick (y) Schroder (R)
Who cares. Seriously, we'll give this one to Ricky even though he changes his name and religion on a whim, he is a good family man. Hulk is a fake wrestler, nuf said.
Jerry Springer (D) Vs. James Earl Jones (R)
No contest. "Say it for us James, say it for us". "This Is CNN". It still amazes me that Jerry Springer was once the Mayor of Cincinnati. Two in a row for the (R)s.
Comments
Post a Comment