Jade Helm 15 is Nigh (be afraid,be very afraid)
Something sinister is about to befall our great country this week. Weds. July 15th is the beginning of the government takeover of the great state of Texas. (and maybe Utah and Florida, according to sources there's an ongoing troop buildup in Fla.) That's why today I threw caution to the wind and joined "Counter Jade Helm" https://www.facebook.com/events/936947686336611/. Our Mission: To observe the attempted infiltration of
our towns during Operation Jade Helm with self sufficient teams in the
field conducting counter surveillance.
What is Jade Helm (15)? It's kind of complicated and really depends on who you ask.
To the government it's just an exercise designed to train soldiers in modern warfare, including maneuvering through civilian populations. But to others it's a massive troop buildup (1,200 troops total, the equivalent of 0.04% of the people who attended the Indians game last night) to impose martial law, disarm the populace (with the help of the Chinese government), ship everyone off to one of five Wal-marts who have been mysteriously closed in the past six months and just happened to be connected by underground tunnels. (Brandon, Florida; Pico Rivera, California; Livingston, Texas; Midland, Texas; and Tulsa, Oklahoma.).....OR....It could be in preparation of a giant asteroid caused by the gravitational pull being generated by the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva Switzerland. It's expected to hit the earth sometime between Sept 22-28 causing a "Mass Extinction Event", and with Jade Helm in place it will be easier for the government to install martial law and ship people off to said Wal-Marts.
(Personally I think it would be cheaper and easier to run a 50% off sale on ammo and wife beater t-shirts to get Texans into a Wal-Mart but, since it's the government, it's important that my tax dollars be wasted.)
How dire is this threat to Texas? It's bad enough that the Texas Governor has had to order the Texas Guard into action. No, not the Texas National Guard (they're government sympathizers) but the unarmed and unpaid Texas Guard. (People like Hank Hill and Dale Gribble come to mind when I think of the Texas Guard.)
Thankfully calmer heads have chimed in on this military takeover and it came from a very unlikely source, Sen. Ted Cruz, who stated,
"We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty."(That's good Ted, just stop there, you've eased some worried minds Ted) "but when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don't trust what it is saying." Dammit Ted!
No matter the reasons or the circumstances though, you can rest assured that myself and the (currently) 10,092 members of Counter Jade Helm will have our eyes to sky and our noses to the ground while we track this government insurgency. You too can become a member of Counter Jade Helm simply by going to their Facebook page and click join. Then you can let other members know of what strange goings on you're witnessing. A helpful hint though, don't sign up and then call us crazy friggin lunatics (even though we are), that gets you banned and you can't post anymore. Instead it's much more fun to post things like finding mutilated cattle or armadillos wearing camouflage or "I just saw three military personnel in Piggly-Wiggly buying Charmin toilet paper, why does it take three people to buy toilet paper?" Trust me, when another person says "I saw them too", the warm and fuzzy feeling you get is indescribable.
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Update:
This sucks. Counter Jade Helm shut down their FB page the same day I joined the group. I guess I'll have to find another playground.
What is Jade Helm (15)? It's kind of complicated and really depends on who you ask.
To the government it's just an exercise designed to train soldiers in modern warfare, including maneuvering through civilian populations. But to others it's a massive troop buildup (1,200 troops total, the equivalent of 0.04% of the people who attended the Indians game last night) to impose martial law, disarm the populace (with the help of the Chinese government), ship everyone off to one of five Wal-marts who have been mysteriously closed in the past six months and just happened to be connected by underground tunnels. (Brandon, Florida; Pico Rivera, California; Livingston, Texas; Midland, Texas; and Tulsa, Oklahoma.).....OR....It could be in preparation of a giant asteroid caused by the gravitational pull being generated by the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva Switzerland. It's expected to hit the earth sometime between Sept 22-28 causing a "Mass Extinction Event", and with Jade Helm in place it will be easier for the government to install martial law and ship people off to said Wal-Marts.
(Personally I think it would be cheaper and easier to run a 50% off sale on ammo and wife beater t-shirts to get Texans into a Wal-Mart but, since it's the government, it's important that my tax dollars be wasted.)
How dire is this threat to Texas? It's bad enough that the Texas Governor has had to order the Texas Guard into action. No, not the Texas National Guard (they're government sympathizers) but the unarmed and unpaid Texas Guard. (People like Hank Hill and Dale Gribble come to mind when I think of the Texas Guard.)
Thankfully calmer heads have chimed in on this military takeover and it came from a very unlikely source, Sen. Ted Cruz, who stated,
"We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty."(That's good Ted, just stop there, you've eased some worried minds Ted) "but when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don't trust what it is saying." Dammit Ted!
No matter the reasons or the circumstances though, you can rest assured that myself and the (currently) 10,092 members of Counter Jade Helm will have our eyes to sky and our noses to the ground while we track this government insurgency. You too can become a member of Counter Jade Helm simply by going to their Facebook page and click join. Then you can let other members know of what strange goings on you're witnessing. A helpful hint though, don't sign up and then call us crazy friggin lunatics (even though we are), that gets you banned and you can't post anymore. Instead it's much more fun to post things like finding mutilated cattle or armadillos wearing camouflage or "I just saw three military personnel in Piggly-Wiggly buying Charmin toilet paper, why does it take three people to buy toilet paper?" Trust me, when another person says "I saw them too", the warm and fuzzy feeling you get is indescribable.
******************************************
Update:
This sucks. Counter Jade Helm shut down their FB page the same day I joined the group. I guess I'll have to find another playground.
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